New.

Today I have been thinking about one of the messages that was shared during Switch from this past semester.  This particular message was right after the New Year, so it kind of was going along the lines of new year's resolutions.  It was a really cool message because it talked about how we should look back on our year before and reflect on the good and the bad.  After reflecting on the previous year, is when you usually think about what you would want to change or improve for the upcoming year. 

During the message, the leader put on the challenge to not only think about those improvements and resolutions, but to come up with a word that is going to be kind of like your motto for the year.  The pastor gave examples to use words like the fruits of the spirit (love, peace, joy, etc.) or encouraged us to come up with our own and a bible verse for the year. 
So, after contemplating the whole "find your word" thing for about a week I finally decided (well God decided) what I wanted my word to be for the year.

New

After sharing with my switch girls my word, they didn't seem to really understand why I would pick "new" as my word signifying growth or improvement for the upcoming year. 

I picked new because I felt like in the year before I was almost held down with burdens from my past.  Failed relationships, petty fights with friends, drama, and even my relationship with the Lord.  I think a lot of people get so caught up in the worldy things in life and forget that we have a God that placed us here on Earth at this particular time to do the things HE has in store for us. 
Even though I fail, I am made new
Even though I sin, I am made new

I am looking to the future with a new understanding and a new vision.  God has placed new people in my life for a reason and taken out the old for a reason as well.  God says hey- I gave you the body, the personality, the everything you have so why are you looking down on yourself? Have a new image of yourself this year. Be strong. Be happy and healthy.  Have a new mindset.
Through the death of Jesus Christ I am made new daily and I think that's something we should all keep on our hearts.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh" Ezekiel 36:26

That was God.

I know I don't usually talk solely on the topic of my spiritual views, but I feel it's time for me to make that step and stop being so concerned with what people will think of my posts.  It is my blog after all.. right?

So I wanted to share this experience that happened to me tonight that honestly was just an "all God thing". 

So today was a normal Tuesday for me.. school, tests, trying to watch tv.. etc.  I stayed up later last night because I was studying for a test so I have felt a little dragged out today. 

Tuesday nights are the nights of "Overflo" which is a worship service my friends and I like to go to.  Its really cool and lead by all college kids (really neat to just look around and see your peers lifting their hands up in praise for Our Father).  Tonight I was deciding whether I was going to go or not, and honestly I wasn't feeling it at first.  Eventually after deciding it would be something I need, my friend and I go and meet up with some of my other girls in my sorority there as well.  We were starting worship and I was trying to do my thing and praise God and then I keep getting this feeling to go hug one of my friends that was standing by himself.  I looked around when I first got there and noticed he was sitting alone (which a lot of people like to do anyway at worship) so I didn't think much of it, so I continue worshiping. 

As the second song passes, I find the words "Go, go over to him" keep coming to mind.  After ever time it keeps coming to mind, I dismiss it immediately thinking "Woah no that's crazy.. in the middle of worship?! No God"  I continue fighting with the thoughts for about another song and half and find myself to start shaking and tearing up.
 "Go."
I tell myself ok I'm just going to go to the bathroom.. so I start to walk passed my friends and into the aisle and without thinking, I find myself walking to towards him.  Going down the rows of chairs, I look up at him and he looks at me.  I walk up to him and hug him.  He hugs me back and then looks at me with this look of almost knowing. 
"I'm sorry, I don't know why but I felt myself being lead to come and hug you," I say
He looks at me, smiles and says thank you.  I hug him again and walk away to go back to my seat. 
I focus back into the service and after several hugs from Kelsey (much needed at that point) I stop crying and shaking a glance over at him again.  He is sitting with his head down and I go back into worshiping. 

The service ends and after I leave, I get a text from him:
"Hey sorry I didn't get to say this to you before you left, but just wanted to let you know that God used you to send a message to me.  I cannot thank you enough for that"

Wow.  God used me to help send a message that someone has been praying for.  To think God would use me, an imperfect person still trying to figure out my identity in Christ, to use me for something that could have meant something so much to someone else.  Never ever would I do something like that out of the blue--to take the step, leap even,-- which makes me know that that wasn't me. That was God.

Dear 2015,

Happy happy New Year everyone! Before I can hop into my new year (school starts in 4 days..no) sometimes it's good to reflect on all of the things that happened from the previous year. So here are a couple of things that come to mind when I think of 2014:

1. In January, I finished my first full year at Oklahoma State (that seems like so long ago) and wow has it forever changed my life. I have to agree with all of the people out there that say choosing the right college is one of the biggest and most important decisions of your life.  Thankfully, I know for a fact that I choose the right college for me, and wow has it made me grow in so many different areas of my life. 

2. Summer 2014, I went with my best friend, Tori, to New York City! Experiencing Long Island and NYC was eye opening-- I think everyone should visit NYC at some point in their life just to get a good idea of how crazy, amazing and huge the world we live in is! When you grow up in a small town your whole life it's easy to have the idea that the world revolves around you and your choices, but after visiting NYC its almost a slap into reality that says hey Carley, look how much is out there in the world to experience other than the Main Street in your hometown. 

3. This past Fall 2014 semester was full of so much growth.  After I moved into my sorority house, I have made so many true and caring life long friends.  Honestly, I think these friends have encouraged me (in so many ways they probably don't know) into creating what I call the best version of myself.  I think by seeing these girls everyday and having them there by my side, it makes me feel like a stronger and more independent life loving and God fearing woman. 

4. I finally decided on a career choice that I am in love with.  That's huge.

5.  Last but not least, another big area of my life that was greatly affected this year was my relationship with Christ.  I found my church home in Stillwater (which has been such a true blessing) and been able to have the opportunity to help disciple to middle school girls.  (which had me so scared at first--that age group is not in my usual comfort zone) But those girls have impacted my life and my relationship with the Lord greatly.  They push me to grow closer to Him daily.  But overall, I have made much progress (despite my hard-headedness) spiritually.  I know that it is all in His plan and He will provide for me always and give me what I truly need when I need it.  His timing is perfect (even though I am so impatient lol) 

Now, It's 2015.
Time to make new memories and keep improving.  This year I pray that I can keep up a consistent, fitness routine that becomes more of a habit rather than a task I'm forcing myself to do.  I pray that I can truly focus on myself and my relationship with the Lord-- striving for a happy and content Carley that doesn't stress over things that have no value.  And that I can continue to grow with my friends as well.  I want to be able to experience my last 3 semesters of college fully.  To go ahead and make that Whataburger trip with your friends at 2 AM, to have that conversation with someone I usually wouldn't, to take the time and slow down because this life is going by so fast.

With high hopes and love,